I don’t take my phone to restaurants anymore.
When I tell people this they look at me like I’ve just admitted to something illegal.
“What if something happens?”
I’m surrounded by phones. Everyone else brought one.
If something happens, I’ll know. I’ll just know 45 seconds later than everyone else, and in those 45 seconds I’ll have been eating my food and looking at the person I’m with instead of refreshing an app to see if a stranger liked my post.
“But what if someone needs you?”
No one needs me. I’ve done this hundreds of times and no one has ever needed me. My sister rang once but she just wanted to tell me she’d seen a cool documentary about penguins. The penguins could wait.
The weird thing is how uncomfortable it makes people. Not me. Them. The idea that someone might be uncontactable for 90 minutes genuinely bothers them on my behalf. Like I’m taking a risk. Like I’m being reckless with my safety by eating a burger without checking my emails.
We’ve all just agreed to be on call now. Nobody asked us to. Nobody’s paying us for it. We just do it. Phone buzzes, we look. Notification pops up, we check. We’re all working a shift that never ends for a job that doesn’t exist.
The first few minutes without your phone are genuinely horrible. Your hand keeps going to your pocket. You want to check something but you don’t know what. There’s nothing specific you need to know. You’re just used to checking. It’s what you do when there’s a gap. Any gap. Waiting for food. Standing in a queue. Someone goes to the toilet. Gap. Check phone. Fill the gap.
After about 15 minutes it stops. Your brain gives up looking for it and you’re just sat there, actually present, like a person from 1997.
I remember being a kid and my mum would leave the house and I’d have no idea where she was for hours. She was just out. That was fine. That was all the information anyone needed. “Where’s mum?” “Out.” “When’s she back?” “Later.” Nobody tracked anyone. Nobody shared their location. Nobody sent live updates about their ETA.
Now we’ve built a surveillance system and we did it to ourselves. Find My Friends. Location sharing. “Just leaving now.” “Five minutes away.” “Parking.” We’ve turned ourselves into trackable parcels and we volunteer for it.
I’m not saying chuck your phone in a canal. I’m saying leave it in your jacket for an hour and notice that nothing bad happens. The group chat continues without you. The news stays negative whether you check it or not. Your sister’s documentary update can wait until you’re home.
You don’t have to be available. Not to your mates, not to your family, not to work, not to anyone. For an hour, two hours, an evening. You can just be where you are, doing what you’re doing, and everyone else can wait.
Try it once. Leave it at home. Eat your food. Look out the window.
Nothing bad will happen.